Khertvisi Castle, Khertvisi, Georgia

Friday, April 8, 2011

At an Armenian Wedding



Although we have heard and seen the telltale signs of numerous weddings about Akhalkalaki, we were just invited to our first wedding on Wednesday this week. (These "telltale signs" include long processions of cars, often led by the stretch Hummer that is for rent, honking their horns incessantly for the better part of the day; hearing traditional Armenian music being performed on a clarinet-like instrument and drums outside the houses of the bride and groom; lots of cars/worse driving than usual near the church; lots of fireworks being shot off around 11pm.) Weddings in Georgia (and specifically Armenian-Georgian weddings in Akhalkalaki) are a big deal. There are some traditions that coincide with American traditions, while others are fairly different.

The bride and groom take the first dance


We met with one of my teaching counterparts and her husband (who are neighbors of the groom) at just about 5:00pm on Wednesday (weddings are held any day of the week here, and not reserved for weekends only) to walk to the reception hall. The wedding ceremony itself lasts the whole day, and since we had to work, we weren't able to participate in everything (and most guests actually only go to the reception). But we did have a chance to watch a video of our host parents' wedding, so I can retell most of it here. (Consequently, watching the tape reminded me of how Mom inexplicably used to have about 23 copies of the video of my Aunt Mary and Uncle Matt's wedding. Do you still have those?) When we get our next wedding invite (as I'm assured we sometime soon will), I'll be sure to better document all the ceremonies.

First, about a month or so before the wedding itself takes place, there's a wedding-reception-like party to celebrate the official engagement of the couple. It also kicks off the start of the wedding preparations, and is the real countdown to the marriage. Sometimes this is instead a mini-banquet or toasting session at the bride-to-be's house with close friends and relatives, other times it's a big blow-out.

The wedding cake


On the wedding day, the closest family and friends of the couple help get everything ready. They go to the groom's house and to the bride's house (I forget in which order), bringing gifts and followed by the above-mentioned musicians, playing traditional music. Toasts are said and snacks are consumed. As gifts are brought to be exchanged, the presenters of the gifts dance them around to the music, while everyone else dances around in the street outside the house (and there's lots of arm action in Armenian dancing). The groom then goes with his posse to the bride's house, where more gifts have to be given in order for her family to let him "take her." Sometimes money is paid to relatives as a symbolic gesture in exchange for them letting the bride go.

Next, everyone in this circle (again, close relatives and friends--usually about 30 people, I'm told) go to the church for the wedding ceremony. Everyone piles into cars that are decorated with balloons and sometimes with a giant pair of wedding rings (I'll get a picture of this sometime soon and post it) or led by the for-hire stretch Hummer that resides here. Another stop is sometimes made at the civil registry office (sometimes I think this is done on a different day, but I'm not sure) to make the marriage official in the eyes of the law. The ceremony done, they go back to the groom's house (usually his parents' house; almost always, couples live with the parents of the groom). More music and dancing and toasting is done. Also (I think it is at this point), the couple enter the house together and each step on a plate to break it. If the bride breaks her plate first, it is supposed to mean that there will be equality in the house and that she won't have to be subservient to her husband. If the groom is first, it means the traditional order will reign. Then the mother of the groom puts lavash (Armenian flat bread, almost like tortillas) on the shoulders of the bride and groom to ward off evil spirits and ensure prosperity and feeds them honey so that their lives together will be sweet.

The tables are already laden when guests arrive at the reception


Then, the whole wedding party meets with the rest of the guests (that's where we came in!) at the reception hall. Although the bulk of the wedding day is spent with a small group of 20-30 of the closest relatives and friends, the reception often includes 200-400 people--friends, relatives, neighbors, teachers, random Americans living in town--everyone is invited. The wedding we attended seemed to have about 250 guests or so. At the reception, tables are already spread with tons of appetizer-type foods (cheese, vegetables, fruit, bread, cakes, various cured meats... the usual) and each table has drinks already placed on it (no going up to a bar for your drinks! They come to you!). There is a head table where the bride, groom and their sponsors sit (they call them godparents, but they're like the sponsors or witnesses or best man and maid of honor). They introduced the parents of the bride and groom, the sponsors and then the bride and groom as they made their entrance. The bride and groom have the first dance, then there was a dance for their families. Then came the song for the entrance of the kebobs.

The drinks selection that was replenished at each table throughout the night


The first hot dish brought out was horovats, or grilled meat skewers, which has special music for its presentation. The waitresses brought this and a parade of other hot dishes throughout the evening (including fried meat cutlets with fried potatoes, steamed trout and a type of khachapuri called atchma, which is like cheese lasagna, minus the sauce). There was a lot of music and dancing throughout the reception (the musicians who played all day at various houses and locations come along and play traditional music, but are backed with a synthesizer and accompanied by a singer). There is a master of ceremonies-type person (they call him the tamada, the toastmaster, but he also just keeps things rolling along and makes announcements, etc.). Of course, there is a wedding cake and this is cut and eaten according to similar traditions as in America. The bride and groom both throw things (not quite a bouquet and garter, but same idea) to the unmarried men or women in attendance.

People give gifts during the wedding, but gifts take a whole different form. Most of the gifts (or what we saw, anyway; other gifts are exchanged at times outside of the reception) are in the form of gold jewelry, and they were presented during a special dance with the bride and groom, wherein all the guests with gifts came up and danced around with the jewelry boxes before then opening them dramatically and then putting the jewelry on the bride. She ended up pretty laden with bling by the end of the dance.

The reception started right around 5:00pm and we lasted there until about 10:30pm, but the party was definitely not on its last legs at that point. It was a lot of fun and a lot of eating. I'm sure I've missed some of the traditions in my retelling and I wish I had more pictures (especially of the pre-reception festivities), but as we go to future weddings in Akhalkalaki, I'll update my information.

And since we're on the topic of weddings, it's only 9 more days until Sam and I will be back in America for my sister's wedding and only 15 more days until that wedding takes place! I hope that gives us enough time to find the appropriate band of wandering minstrels to add to the festivities...

3 comments:

  1. If I ever get married I am going to have the kebab song as my first dance.

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  2. I think we should dance in with pepperoni rolls and Apple Annie's desserts to Back Street Boys music!!

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  3. hi thanks for sharing this


    regards.
    www.kalyanavaranmatrimony.com

    ReplyDelete